"act a fool"

"Act a fool" as defined by the urban dictionary: "To stop acting rationally and start acting foolishly; to go nuts." I believe it was Ludacris that made this term pretty popular a while back... hehe. 

But he didn't coin the phrase. Nope...

"Act a fool" as defined by the Bible (my own paraphrasing of 1 Corinthians 1:27-29, look it up): deliberately choosing the things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. Choosing the powerless to shame the powerful. Choosing the despised things instead of the seemingly important things.

Yes... I stop acting rationally and start acting foolishly quite a bit. Just ask my kids and husband for that matter. Last night was one of those times. 

I went "off script" a bit at youth group with my senior highers last night. Ever have butterflies when you know you should say something but can't work up the courage to do it? One of my adult youth leaders phrases it like this: "shoulda', coulda', woulda'." Don't resist the urge to speak when you know you should. All in love, of course. 

I had an incredible time with God in prayer a few weeks back. Nothing like I've experienced before. Risking sounding like a fool, I shared this with my youth group last night. 

God's been doing some pretty wild things in my life lately. A surge of the Spirit has been felt in and among my family, my church, my youth. For three years now God has been reminding me that His ways are going to seem foolish. His ways are not going to be what my first logical choice may be. We are to love the unlovable. To reach the unreachable. To listen to the fools. Heck, to be fools for God.

Carefully calculating is not nearly as exciting as free-falling into God's story. Acting rationally will only get predictable, safe, (in my opinion) boring results. 

When I was a teen, I wanted to be a rebel with a cause. When I was in college, I wanted to be an intellect. When I was a young married woman, I wanted to be Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart (I even bought a super cute apron). When I became a young mom, I wanted to be the perfect Christian for my kid's sake.  I'm tired of trying to be a smart put-together Christian. 

Because the truth is I'm a fool for Christ. I invite you to try "act a fool" once in a while with God. 

"No stopping except for repairs!"

I saw a road sign this morning while driving on the turnpike that read: "No Stopping Except for Repairs."

At church we're about to embark on 33 Days of Prayer starting off with an entire week of unbroken prayer- I'm talking 24/7! Needless to say, I've been doing a lot of thinking about prayer and how it works. When I saw that road sign early this morning it suddenly occurred there is a great connection between that sign and our prayer lives. 

Do I only stop to pray when I'm in need of repair? When tragedy strikes, when illness occurs, when a big life decision pops up? The Bible says "rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thess. 5:16-18). Or in Ephesians 6 it says "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people." 

So am I only stopping to talk to God when I need something or when I feel like a repair is needed? How about talking to God all the time "with all kinds of prayers and requests?" When we view prayer as "for emergency use only" we are missing the heart of prayer. Or more like missing the heart of God. 

See, prayer isn't so much about us... sure we have a role in that conversation with God, but the awesome thing about prayer is it gives us a look into God's heart. You may have heard the saying "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak," right? Go with me on this... I'm not trying to oversimplify it ... but the same goes for when we talk with God. 

I can honestly say that some of the most meaningful times of prayer in my own life have been when I am silent and simply listen for God's voice. Yes, God does want us to stop and ask for help when we need repair... but He has so much more to show us beyond those times! 

Think about it: the Creator of the universe wants to speak with you, show you things about yourself, your life, and the world that you never dreamed of! He wants to tell you that He loves you, that He wants you to love others, and invite you on a a crazy adventure of living for Him daily.

I want to hear God's voice more than I hear my own in prayer!

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Ever have one of those days when you'd like to break every mirror in your house? If it weren't for the whole 7 years of bad luck thing, I think today would have been that day for me. 

Later this evening my thoughts drifted to a passage in James that has always held huge personal meaning for me. I did a Bible study on James earlier this year with a great group of young ladies back in Florida at my previous home church. The leader lovingly called James' writing style "Christianity in blue jeans." James is currently one of my favorite books in the New Testament because of his straight-to-the-point message. If you don't like what James is writing that's good... because it means you're probably about to move from conviction to repentance. At least that's been the case for me time and time again. 

So here is the particular passage about spending too much (or not enough in this case) time looking in the "mirror:" 

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action. (James 1:22-24, The Message)

So if I hear (comprehend, believe, absorb) the Word of God BUT fail to act (obey, submit, deny oneself) then I'm like a well... let's face it... James is calling me an idiot. Hah! That's pretty straight-forward wouldn't you say?

The question I'm left asking myself is this: "Which mirror am I using to see myself clearly?" When God's truth is revealed we are to act on it. Grab it and don't let go. We spend WAY too much time trying to frantically arrange the pieces of our puzzle (aka LIFE) to make it all fit nicely when thankfully God comes on the scene... and you know what happens? He shows us that we've only been putting together just a tiny portion of the whole picture. In fact, He may even take our neat little puzzle and flip it onto the floor and start over from scratch because we were limiting His gift of power in us! Can I get an amen?! That's exactly what we experienced over the last few years, and now it is with great assurance (and completely by God's grace) that I can say I'm glad He did it.

These couple verses contain a promise- that if we stick with it ("it" being obeying Christ) then we "will find delight and affirmation in the action." Wow. How many decisions that I've made on my own can I claim gave me 100% delight and affirmation? Maybe for a short time, yes. Kinda like sporting your fanciest duds, taking a glance in the mirror and thinking to yourself, "Man, I sure do look good!" Only once you get outside you realize it's 5,000 degrees and you're wearing a turtleneck and corduroy pants. All that effort for nothing. But who wears turtlenecks and corduroy pants anymore? Wow, that analogy went south in a hurry. But you get the point.

I've resolved to start spending more time looking in God's mirror for a true depiction of who I am. That will leave me both encouraged and challenged to keep on doin' what the Lord asks of me. That and... maybe I'll trade in my bathroom mirror for one of those kind they put in dressing rooms of expensive clothing stores- you know what I'm talking about- the kind that make you look skinnier than you really are. Hehe.

Just be.

What would you pray for if you knew that in just a few short moments you would be captured, tortured and eventually killed? My desperate prayer would probably sound something like this.... "HELP ME! SPARE ME!" Yup... I would most likely just pray for my life. Typical human thing to do, I guess.

Tonight I was reading the prayer of someone who was in this very same circumstance... only His prayer sounded vastly different than mine would have. Here is just a part of Jesus' prayer moments before He was about to be arrested:

"My prayer is not for the world, but for those you have given me, because they belong to you. And all of them, since they are mine, belong to you; and you have given them back to me, so they are my glory! Now I am departing the world; I am leaving them behind and coming to you. Holy Father, keep them and care for them- all those you have given me- so that they will be united just as we are." - John 17:9-11

I'm humbled, amazed and overjoyed by His prayer. He isn't praying that God would spare Him. Not praying that God would save Him from the impending suffering ahead. Nope. Instead, He's praying for His beloved friends. Asking the Father to "keep them and care for them." Wow. Yet another incredible example of Jesus' relentless love for us. Even in the moments before His life was about to painfully end, He was praying for us. Can you imagine a love like this? Jesus is asking that the Father keep His followers safe... and even more He is praying that they will be united as the Son is united with the Father.

So now I'm left trying to imagine a unity among Christians that resembles the unity displayed in the Trinity and it's making my head hurt! You know what Jesus says over and over again during His ministry on earth? Love. It's love that unifies us. An unbreakable, unrelenting, unmovable love for God that will feed our love for one another.

So here's the application: do I (we) love one another so much that there is even a slight chance that in life-threatening moment I (we) would think to pray for others? How about during our very-much-still-alive moments? Are we unified in this way?

Jesus is a radical... for all the right reasons. I love that about Him. So overwhelmingly perfect, trustworthy, and more than enough. I'm praising God tonight that He's much more concerned with my "being" than my "doing." He just wants me to be unified with the Father in love. He's not preoccupied with the "stuff" of ministry like I can be sometimes.

Jesus could have been like, "Okay... you guys, make sure to unplug the iron, feed the cat, and take out the garbage." (I'm not a heretic, just trying to make a point so go with me on this one...). Stuff could have very easily been more important than the people at a time like that. But nope. Not with Jesus... because He loves us for more than just what we can do. He wants us to be like Him, not just do stuff like He did. In fact, He promised that we would do far greater things than He did (for realsies)!

So tonight I'm reminded to just be. Be love, be unified with God, be at peace in Him. He thinks that much of us.

It's okay to be both.

I had coffee with my dad tonight. We meet about once a month for our little "daddy-daughter" date and I always look forward to it. I can always bet on the fact that during our talks my dad will give me precious advice or profound wisdom about following God. Tonight I was once again struck by something he said while we were discussing the subject of change. Our emotions can be both tricky and unpredictable when trying to navigate our way through (or around) a new transition. When we are processing a perceived trial or joy, no matter what form the change comes in, we sometimes get stuck in the idea that we either have to be happy or sad. We either have to be completely content or wildly resistant. We have the tendency to want to only choose things in our lives that will bring assured happiness along the path of least resistance. It's human nature. Any other action on our part is nothing short of the divine at work within us. What my dad said tonight was so humbly profound: "It's okay to be both." (this little nugget of philosophy drawn from a sermon by Ravi Zacharias entitled "Either/Or, Both/And.")

On my drive home I began to ponder all the ways that "it's okay to be both." There are countless times when I can remember feeling two (or more) emotions simultaneously, sure. Ever cried tears of joy? How about laughing when you're nervous? I've been known to laugh when I'm really angry... it's weird, but ask my husband it's true!

So then I began to think about how "it's okay to be both" in more ways than just in our emotions. The fact that I am insufficiently adequate to be God's ambassador- that's a way that it's okay to be both. The fact that I am a sinner and saved. The fact that Jesus was both human and God incarnate. Take for instance that when it comes to being a Christian it's okay to have more questions than answers because it's all about the journey. How about something like being hopelessly abandoned to God's purposes? That's another way I'm comfortable being both. The risk of being sold out to be used by Him far outweighs the risk of wasting my life on things that don't matter- such as living only for myself! I want to be radically ordinary for God's glory. It is my life's aim to make much of Him and much less of me.

Dad, thanks for always being so profoundly obvious in our little talks. I love you.

Enough for Today

This year one of my personal goals is to read the Bible the whole way through. I chose a reading plan that would take me through it in a historically chronological progression. True confession... does it make me less spiritual that I knew I may face some difficulty reading strictly from the Old Testament for months on end? I've been wrestling with some of the more lengthy descriptive passages just this week. However, last week I was deep in the story of the Israelites wandering the desert after having been freed from captivity in Egypt. I came to a part in Exodus about a miracle of God that I know a lot of people are familiar with: the manna (or bread) from heaven. While I was reading this account of what God did to answer to plea of his desperate and wandering people, an amazing parallel to another familiar passage came to mind. First the instruction from God regarding the manna:

4 Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. 5 On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.” (Exodus 16:4-5, emphasis mine)

I was hit with the thought of how perfectly peculiar it was that God instructed them to only gather enough food for each day. On the sixth day of the week he instructed them to gather double so that they could observe the Sabbath. This principle of establishing the Sabbath and keeping it holy was further identified in the ten commandments which would come just a few chapters later.

The message that I felt God giving me through reading this familiar story was so simple and yet so poignant:

His provision is enough for today. 

Now here is the scripture my thoughts immediately turned to that parallel this same message. I thought of a passage in Matthew spoken by Jesus himself. I think many of us are very familiar with what has been termed as "The Lord's Prayer":

9 “This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
10 your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’

(Matthew 6:9-13, emphasis mine)

My faith can hold tight to the fact that God is giving me everything I need to focus on and live for him today. As much as I try to run ahead, God has been pressing into my head this truth over and over: His provision is enough for today. What I need to do is daily put my trust in God. Asking him to make my heart more and more hungry for him. Pray for the chance to love someone as a reflection of who Christ is today. I know that my future is secure because he holds tomorrow. What I need to do is be beautifully desperate for him today.

Good, pleasing, and perfect.

I've been asking myself some tough questions lately about discerning what is next for my family and I. God has put on my heart a verse in Romans that I've read many times before but somehow never paid much attention to three amazing words:

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is." Romans 12:2

The topic of discerning God's will has been on the forefront of discussion in my life lately. It seems to be a theme God is really driving home for me. This verse is very well-known in terms of being "transformed by the  renewing of your mind" (NRSV) but I also love how the NLT translation says "changing the way you think." Wow. When I ponder how difficult it can be to change the way I think... it seems nearly impossible to do. No matter how many self-help advice books we can read or how well we apply the latest pop psychology method, it can be nearly impossible to change the way we think! Our minds are complex and intricate. The way we perceive our world, our circumstances, or even God can be as complicated as the subject itself!  

Here's an perfect example: just today I was talking with other mommy friends at the park about how Owen has been biting his sister again lately. Totally unexpected behavior for his age and especially because I thought we were done with this stage! Fast forward a couple hours and what do we see? Owen, who is supposed to be washing his hands for lunch, biting his sister on the arm! So here comes the confession- it makes me angry. I mean it sends my emotions through the roof when I see the bite mark on Abby's arm/shoulder/leg/finger/head/you name it. Here's the thought process in my brain every time it happens: "Is this ever going to stop? What if he starts biting other people? How is it he can't express his frustration with words? Am I a failure as a mom? Am I meeting his needs emotionally? What if he never grows out of this? What if my friends judge me for having a "biter? What if he's a cannibal? AGH!" Seriously, my thoughts go wild and verge on the edge of being ridiculous. Ever have a moment like that? Something in your life that drives you bananas and you automatically think the worst? Jeff tells me to stop and take a deep breath before I switch on the crazy. Hah! Please tell me I'm not alone, people. 

So here is the good news: God's work of transforming the way I think (which I cannot do on my own) will lead me to the endless possibilities of knowing His will. And guess what else? That verse in Romans says His will is: good, pleasing, and perfect. How much better can it get? Nothing I could plan for my life would ever come close to being those three things, especially the perfect part! So this is what I'm beginning to understand about understanding God's will: He must be the one to clean out the junk in my heart (i.e. the way I think) so that I can fully trust that His will- when revealed- will be AMAZING. Jeff and I have really been challenged to grow in this area specifically. God keeps reminding me to strive harder after Him. Everything else is just details. And, to get the full aspect of what this verse is telling us about being transformed, it's crucial to look at the verse that proceeds: 

"And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice-the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?" Romans 12:1

God wants me to be set apart. Not to conform to the world's standards. Not to look for ways to bring myself recognition. Not even to be the perfect mom (also because it's impossible). Not to fret when my son bites, but rather correct him in love. Even while doing the most good we can get lost in the doing. God will tell us what to do, it says so in verse 2. What He requires is that we offer ourselves as a living sacrifice to Him. Tall order? Yep. Absolutely fulfilling? Definitely. 

And now to steal from my favorite author, Oswald Chambers: 

' “I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . .” (Matthew 6:25) Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, “That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink.” Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first. "

Pep talk time

I had to share this video because... #1 this kid is adorable and #2 the message is priceless. 

Need a pep talk? How about one from this cutie?? 

"There's work to be done! You can cry about it, or you can dance about it!"

"Boring is easy, but you're gooder than that." 

Enjoy...

It's too early for big questions, Owen.

This morning, at a very early (but luckily post-coffee) hour my son and I were having a bit of a big discussion. If you don't know anything about my son, Owen, let me tell you a little about him. Owen is highly inquisitive, as are most kiddos his age, always asking me really hard questions like, "How do we make cars?" or one of my favs, "How do babies come out of their mommy's tummy?" He is also what some would describe as being a bit "emotional" for a boy. Owen's highs are really high and his lows are really low... again, typical in my limited understanding of 3-year-olds, but I'm beginning to see that Owen broke the mold when it comes to his sensibilities and perceptiveness. He takes in so much of our big world every day and I can literally see it in his gaze when ideas and new concepts are being processing in his brain like a little computer. Last year he asked me about a few homeless people we passed outside of a store we passed. Then, after explaining that they have no house to go home to at the end of the day, Owen had an obvious yet somehow overlooked solution- "Why don't we give them our house, Mom?" I love his sweet spirit, the integrity that he is already showing at such a young age, and the love and knowledge of God that is growing in his heart.

So back to the discussion Owen and I were having...

As I was ironing Jeff's shirt for work this morning, Owen asked me, "What does daddy do at work and can I go too?" Jeff is a senior level claims adjuster for a auto insurance company handling auto accident claims that frankly I never want to even hear or think about. He is one of the (un)lucky people that get to handle auto accident fatalities and seriously icky injuries. When he first got this job, I made it very clear that I never want to hear about it, otherwise I would end up having to walk everywhere for fear of driving and that just would't jive with two kids in tow. So would you please let me remain naive where I am happy, thank you very much. So when trying to explain to Owen what daddy does all day I said something like this: "Well, when people get into a bad car accident they can call daddy for help with fixing their car and seeing a doctor to help their boo-boos." And Owen's response on his face read something like, "Uh huh." Then after about a minute he said, "Mom, I still don't understand." 

My thoughts immediately turned to a passage in Romans that was being discussed last night at youth group. I'll explain why after this:

"For the truth about God is known to them instinctively. God has put this knowledge in their hearts. From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made. They can clearly see his invisible qualities- his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God." - Romans 1:19-20

Here is the big thought I had: it is much easier for me to tell someone about the reality of God and what Christ did for us than it is for me to explain to my 3-year-old what daddy does at work all day. You would think the opposite would be true... but it's not. Why? Well... because who God is matters to all of us. The creator of all we see and all of humanity is desperately in love with us. So much so that we, the created, have been saved from our sin by the unthinkable and unimaginable act of Jesus, the creator, dying in our place and rising again from the grave- victorious over death. And then the thought dawned on me: the reason that this is easier for me to tell someone about this; heck even why it's easy to explain to my son that God did this for us, is because it is a message of hope and freedom. As this message that Paul is writing in the passage to the Romans explains, we "instinctively" know the truth about God... because "God has put this knowledge in [our] hearts." I realize this is a lot to ponder, especially if you have doubts or questions. (I am very open to dialogue about this if you would like!) I really liked the context in which this passage was read last night to the teens at my church because they are faced every day with the challenges of working out their faith. The truth is that God is real. The truth is he loves us. The truth is... I, we, you... need Him daily. To me at this juncture in my walk with God is a much easier truth to shed a little light on than any other question my son could conjure up, like the ever so popular, "Where do babies come from?"

I would like to leave you with a music video of one of Owen's favorite songs that I think ties in perfectly with this very thing. Owen goes around the house singing it all day and it brings this mama such joy.

Forgiveness: need it and give it.

I think it has happened to all of us at some time or another. We let a comment slip out of our mouth before it had a chance to pass through our brain. We typed something that wasn't exactly "Christian-like." Or maybe worse... or words were carefully thought up... maybe even plotted to be made as painful as possible... as if to sharpen an arrow for the attack. Once the conversation has been had, there is no taking back your words. And as you relish in the ugly and guilty perceived "win," it suddenly hits you... "Why did I say that?!"

Or just maybe you were on the receiving end of the attack. You were the one left with an arrow hanging in your heart. You are left recoiling and injured telling yourself never to trust that person again. Can you relate at all to this?

Or maybe it's not nearly that dramatic. Maybe it was an exchange that began peacefully and then you sense that things are taking a nosedive. Differences of opinions, strong feelings evoked, or maybe something that is spoken in confidence that you just know you can't handle on your own. Therein the struggle begins.

Whatever the case is, one thing prevails as the antidote: forgiveness. Resolution is waiting to be had. Reunion of friendship is waiting. How do we know that there is hope? One simple truth: Jesus made it all possible. Lets look at two places in the Bible where this very issue is being addressed and to see what God says about this.

First, what do to if you've been injured... here is the course of treatment.

 Colossians 3:13 reads,

"You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (this passage draws on the principle Jesus spoke in Matthew 18:21-35 if you want to reference that passage as well.)

Notice that it doesn't say anything about whether the person deserves your forgiveness, or only if they are "really sorry!" Hah. I just had this funny thought of a parent scolding their child: "Say you're sorry!" to which the child with his/her arms crossed in rebellion yells, "Sorry!" What is the parent's typical response? "Say it like you MEAN it!" Here we are faced with yet another issue- repentance. It's not for us to decide if the other person is even repentant of their behavior. Heck, they don't even have to apologize to us! We are just called to to forgive. And what's more, in the verse right before this (v. 12) it reads,

"Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility gentleness and patience." 

Tall order? Yes. Impossible to do? Nope. Not without Christ, that is. So here's the breakdown about extending forgiveness that I've come to learn:

1. Only Christ makes it possible for me to forgive 
2. I don't have to feel like it first in order to give it
3. If I am to behave like God's child then I will do it
4. Because I have been given a new life in Christ I can do it

I also want to take special care in addressing offenses that are deeper and more painful than just a harsh word. I have had opportunities (praise God I can even refer to these painful times in my life as such- an opportunity!) to flex my forgiveness muscle. It doesn't happen overnight. The lingering pain may take a long time to heal, but it is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we have the freedom and the safety in Christ to say, "I forgive." I can remember with certain situations I had to sometimes daily remind myself in prayer that I forgave. It all comes down to Christ. Be encouraged that with His help, you can have true healing. 

So now the flip side of the coin. What if you are the one that needs forgiveness? This very week, in fact, I found myself in this category. And I waited ENTIRELY too long to make things right. Let me share with you a passage that keeps coming to mind in Matthew 5:23-24,

"So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has an something against you, leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God."

There a few things that strike me as peculiar yet very relateable about this passage. One thing is that I love how it says, "you suddenly remember that someone has something against you." Ever been unsure about how your words came across to someone? I have. I tend to be pretty blunt and I've had a LOT of practice in toning it down. I've had my fair share of failures to learn by. I just think it's so human of us that we can be just going about our business, in this case maybe at church (a close enough comparison to being at the altar in the Temple) and all of the sudden... it hits you. Geesh. I should really make things right with so-and-so. What does the Bible say to do? Go and be reconciled. Go. Just GO!

I can remember a time many years ago at my previous home church when our pastor spoke about this very thing. He told us to take a moment and think if there was anything in our relationships between church members that needed to be made right. And you know what he asked us to do next? To do it. Go. Get up out of your chair and go to that person and make things right. Boy oh boy, was that a powerful service. Unforgettable for me. I remember at the time (the particulars have since been forgotten) I owed someone an apology and I was incredibly nervous at the idea of getting up and going to that person in front of a room of other people! But you know what? It didn't matter... because almost ALL of us were doing the very same thing. Reconciliation rested on that place like a warm blanket to cozy up with. Forgiveness was being asked for and given that morning. I'll never forget watching as our church family walked in obedience together. We were then freed up to "then come and offer your sacrifice to God" together. Incredible.

Forgiveness. We need it and we need to give it. After all, didn't Jesus forgive us of the worst of the worst? How about our sin that separates us from Him? How about them apples?! Seriously though, I'm not making light of this... in fact I'm saying in comparison to whatever foolish thing we are holding onto as far as refusing to forgive or refusing to apologize... seriously? What do we know about REAL forgiveness other than what Christ can do in us? We have His perfect life to look at and learn from. Dying for people who don't deserve it... all because of love. Reconciliation of humanity unto Himself made possible only because He paid the debt we could never fulfill on our own.

Ask for forgiveness... say "sorry" it like you mean it. Give forgiveness, and then act like you mean it. Be encouraged!