Be in the moment

Have you ever been so deep in conversation that instead of being a good listener all you could think about was what you planned on saying next? Almost as though you’re planning your next move, or preparing for your turn to speak? Maybe I’m alone in this. Maybe not. Sometimes my mind races to the next minute rather than sitting still in the moment. 

In Luke 21, Jesus is pulling back the curtain, so to speak, on what is to come. Some of the followers that were with Him would face great persecution for their faith in Jesus as the Messiah. He said to them in verse 12, “You will be dragged into synagogues and prisons, and you will stand trial before kings and governors because you are my followers." Can you imagine what your response may have been if you were one of the original hearers of this foretelling? Heavy indeed! Maybe you would start counting the cost? 

Jesus is saying to us as believers that we will face persecution, rejection, divided families and friendships, and trials because of our commitment to Jesus. He goes on to encourage in the next breath: “But this will be your opportunity to tell them about me. So don’t worry in advance about how to answer the charges against you, for I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you!" 

So here it is… Jesus is saying don’t worry how to answer. When I read this, I think to myself “Sure, don’t worry how to answer. Got it. Don’t think ahead to your next move. Don’t try to get the last word. Got it. Sigh I know myself and … that’s not going to be easy.”  

Jesus is promising that the Holy Spirit will give guidance in the moments that we face. He promises that the words He gives us will be right and full of wisdom… so much so that no one will be able to refute them! Why is it that I continue to try to think “one step ahead” of Jesus? Anyone else relate to that? I’ve spent hours on my knees asking Jesus for direction, revelations, His will, etc. Jesus is telling us in verse 13 that when we face trials, disagreements, broken hearts… this, my friend, is a joyful opportunity to tell people of Jesus. To know the very heart of God far outweighs preserving my own life.

The Holy Spirit will guide our words. The Creator of the Universe knows our next move before we can even plan it … and still loves us still. Be in the moment with Jesus. (Like we tell our teens in Ignite… be with the people you’re with i.e. unplug from your electronics!) Stand firm in your faith trusting in God’s kingdom come.

Don’t think, “If my Christian life only looked more like this or that, then Jesus would love me or guide me.”  I encourage you to pray for more of Jesus this week. Pray for more of the Holy Spirit in your life. Seek Jesus before you plan your next move, sentence, or breath for that matter. I’m right there with you, family. I need the Holy Spirit to guide more than I need to be understood by those around me. I need Jesus more than I need my reputation to be intact. I need God’s love more and more every day. 

Stand firm in your faith. Stand sure that the Holy Spirit can guide your next move. Kneel humbly before your God. Jesus faced unthinkable hardships just a few chapters later… yet He took the time to encourage us. Undeserved grace, indeed. 

Lay It Down

It stopped me dead in my tracks. In the middle of my kiddo's breakfast clean up and play-doh chaos, I heard it. 

I promise I'm not trying to be dramatic. When I heard this song beautifully float through the air in my home (courtesy of Pandora radio) this morning, I had no choice but to stop and steep in the lyrics and beautiful simplicity of this melody. Watch the live performance: Matt Maher "Lay It Down" 

This song completely embodies the prayer my hopelessly human heart needed to pray today. 

See, I've been hiding from God lately. Hiding, but not in the sense of running from Him. No... that's not the case. I've been hiding from his grace. Crazy, right? Why would I ever hide from God's immense love and stain removing grace? I have the unconditional love of the Savior covering me, so why does my wayward heart choose to "hunker down" and continue in joy-quenching self criticism? 

Jesus wants our all. Not just some... our everything. He wants our joy, our blessings, our hurt, our disappointments, our sin, and to silence the voices in your head that tell you you're not good enough. The only way that we can live in his truth is to give Him the lies we've been holding onto. 

No act of sacrifice for Jesus can mask His grace for me. Trying harder to have Billy Graham-type faith won't get me there. Even faith is a gift of grace from Jesus. See? I'm left holding nothing to offer Jesus even despite my best efforts... and that's the way it should be. 

Everything I am, everything I long to be... I lay it down at Your feet. 

Grace fell like rain on my parched soul today. Thank you, Jesus, that I have nothing to offer you but my life. Thank you, Jesus, that you never stop even when we foolishly say "time-out" to your love. 

Lay it down with me, friends, and let's make our hands empty so that we are ready to receive more of Jesus. 

Snow day

This winter has been so exciting for me. I haven't seen snow in almost 10 years, and boy are we getting plenty of it! 

But it's not the snow in particular that I'm childishly happy about... it's just being in the place that God called us to that's way more exciting and thoroughly satisfying than even the most perfect snow angel. 

(winter fashion courtesy of my pastor's family and my jacket is literally from when I was in middle school)

It's hard to believe that I'm coming up on my one year anniversary of being at Woodstown Presbyterian Church. I know it sounds cliche, but it really feels like we rolled into Woodstown just last week! The church has been so helpful and welcoming to my family and I. It's not always easy moving to a new area with a "small town" ring to it. God has been reassuring me that this is my mission field- as is the whole world to all believers! 

And what can I say about the youth ministry here? It's been incredible. In word, this year has been immersion. Immersion into the teen culture of south Jersey, immersion into God's calling us deeper into his presence, immersion into living life that's rich in mission, immersion into the reality of eternity, immersion into a close-knit community of young people. 

The young people in my youth ministry (Ignite is the name of our group) are unlike any other teens I've ministered to. These teens have such expectant hearts, and by that I mean they aren't willing to settle for status-quo Christianity. They want to see, feel, touch, taste, and smell God. Yes, God has a smell. Just ask my best friend who did a whole sermon on that once!! 

My students want to be motivated to action, and time after time I've watched them rise to the challenge- whether it was painting curbs in the heart of Camden, raking leaves for families in the area, or taking up the call to go on mission in the Dominican Republic. And, this summer we are excited to be planning a week-long mission in the heart of Philly partnering with a church who excels in homeless ministry. They are thrilled at the idea of sleeping on the floor in a hot church, traveling by public transportation every day to the various worksites around the city, and living alongside the "least of these" that Jesus loves and wants us to love. They are THRILLED! 

I absolutely love their enthusiasm and honesty. This year has been immersion into relationships, and that's the way I love doing ministry. That's the way Jesus did it, right? Isn't that the phrase we use to describe a more than mediocre Christian life? We want a relationship with Jesus! 

My team of youth leaders are in word: incredible. I love every one of them, and I love doing what I do because it frees them up to solidifying heart connections with their small group students. The generosity they show to the ministry is inspiring- their time, thoughtfulness, resources, prayer--- it's the best a youth director could ever ask for!! I'm praising God for them because they make this ministry what it is. They are the peanut butter to my jelly. 

I just had a funny closing thought. My personality tends to see the glass half-empty (as some would say), and so really one of the few times I get this excited and positive is when I'm thinking about my youth ministry. That's how you know this is my calling--- it energizes me! That's just a little insight into what Jeff would say is my tendency toward being a pessimist, but I argue back that I'm just a realist. Hah! 

The reality of WPC and Ignite is that God is on the move among our church body. Hearts are being healed, lives are being filled with God's beauty and truth, and I couldn't be more thrilled to be a part of that. Snow and all, I love my church. 

"act a fool"

"Act a fool" as defined by the urban dictionary: "To stop acting rationally and start acting foolishly; to go nuts." I believe it was Ludacris that made this term pretty popular a while back... hehe. 

But he didn't coin the phrase. Nope...

"Act a fool" as defined by the Bible (my own paraphrasing of 1 Corinthians 1:27-29, look it up): deliberately choosing the things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. Choosing the powerless to shame the powerful. Choosing the despised things instead of the seemingly important things.

Yes... I stop acting rationally and start acting foolishly quite a bit. Just ask my kids and husband for that matter. Last night was one of those times. 

I went "off script" a bit at youth group with my senior highers last night. Ever have butterflies when you know you should say something but can't work up the courage to do it? One of my adult youth leaders phrases it like this: "shoulda', coulda', woulda'." Don't resist the urge to speak when you know you should. All in love, of course. 

I had an incredible time with God in prayer a few weeks back. Nothing like I've experienced before. Risking sounding like a fool, I shared this with my youth group last night. 

God's been doing some pretty wild things in my life lately. A surge of the Spirit has been felt in and among my family, my church, my youth. For three years now God has been reminding me that His ways are going to seem foolish. His ways are not going to be what my first logical choice may be. We are to love the unlovable. To reach the unreachable. To listen to the fools. Heck, to be fools for God.

Carefully calculating is not nearly as exciting as free-falling into God's story. Acting rationally will only get predictable, safe, (in my opinion) boring results. 

When I was a teen, I wanted to be a rebel with a cause. When I was in college, I wanted to be an intellect. When I was a young married woman, I wanted to be Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart (I even bought a super cute apron). When I became a young mom, I wanted to be the perfect Christian for my kid's sake.  I'm tired of trying to be a smart put-together Christian. 

Because the truth is I'm a fool for Christ. I invite you to try "act a fool" once in a while with God. 

"No stopping except for repairs!"

I saw a road sign this morning while driving on the turnpike that read: "No Stopping Except for Repairs."

At church we're about to embark on 33 Days of Prayer starting off with an entire week of unbroken prayer- I'm talking 24/7! Needless to say, I've been doing a lot of thinking about prayer and how it works. When I saw that road sign early this morning it suddenly occurred there is a great connection between that sign and our prayer lives. 

Do I only stop to pray when I'm in need of repair? When tragedy strikes, when illness occurs, when a big life decision pops up? The Bible says "rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thess. 5:16-18). Or in Ephesians 6 it says "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people." 

So am I only stopping to talk to God when I need something or when I feel like a repair is needed? How about talking to God all the time "with all kinds of prayers and requests?" When we view prayer as "for emergency use only" we are missing the heart of prayer. Or more like missing the heart of God. 

See, prayer isn't so much about us... sure we have a role in that conversation with God, but the awesome thing about prayer is it gives us a look into God's heart. You may have heard the saying "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak," right? Go with me on this... I'm not trying to oversimplify it ... but the same goes for when we talk with God. 

I can honestly say that some of the most meaningful times of prayer in my own life have been when I am silent and simply listen for God's voice. Yes, God does want us to stop and ask for help when we need repair... but He has so much more to show us beyond those times! 

Think about it: the Creator of the universe wants to speak with you, show you things about yourself, your life, and the world that you never dreamed of! He wants to tell you that He loves you, that He wants you to love others, and invite you on a a crazy adventure of living for Him daily.

I want to hear God's voice more than I hear my own in prayer!

Mirror, mirror on the wall

Ever have one of those days when you'd like to break every mirror in your house? If it weren't for the whole 7 years of bad luck thing, I think today would have been that day for me. 

Later this evening my thoughts drifted to a passage in James that has always held huge personal meaning for me. I did a Bible study on James earlier this year with a great group of young ladies back in Florida at my previous home church. The leader lovingly called James' writing style "Christianity in blue jeans." James is currently one of my favorite books in the New Testament because of his straight-to-the-point message. If you don't like what James is writing that's good... because it means you're probably about to move from conviction to repentance. At least that's been the case for me time and time again. 

So here is the particular passage about spending too much (or not enough in this case) time looking in the "mirror:" 

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! Those who hear and don’t act are like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later have no idea who they are, what they look like. But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action. (James 1:22-24, The Message)

So if I hear (comprehend, believe, absorb) the Word of God BUT fail to act (obey, submit, deny oneself) then I'm like a well... let's face it... James is calling me an idiot. Hah! That's pretty straight-forward wouldn't you say?

The question I'm left asking myself is this: "Which mirror am I using to see myself clearly?" When God's truth is revealed we are to act on it. Grab it and don't let go. We spend WAY too much time trying to frantically arrange the pieces of our puzzle (aka LIFE) to make it all fit nicely when thankfully God comes on the scene... and you know what happens? He shows us that we've only been putting together just a tiny portion of the whole picture. In fact, He may even take our neat little puzzle and flip it onto the floor and start over from scratch because we were limiting His gift of power in us! Can I get an amen?! That's exactly what we experienced over the last few years, and now it is with great assurance (and completely by God's grace) that I can say I'm glad He did it.

These couple verses contain a promise- that if we stick with it ("it" being obeying Christ) then we "will find delight and affirmation in the action." Wow. How many decisions that I've made on my own can I claim gave me 100% delight and affirmation? Maybe for a short time, yes. Kinda like sporting your fanciest duds, taking a glance in the mirror and thinking to yourself, "Man, I sure do look good!" Only once you get outside you realize it's 5,000 degrees and you're wearing a turtleneck and corduroy pants. All that effort for nothing. But who wears turtlenecks and corduroy pants anymore? Wow, that analogy went south in a hurry. But you get the point.

I've resolved to start spending more time looking in God's mirror for a true depiction of who I am. That will leave me both encouraged and challenged to keep on doin' what the Lord asks of me. That and... maybe I'll trade in my bathroom mirror for one of those kind they put in dressing rooms of expensive clothing stores- you know what I'm talking about- the kind that make you look skinnier than you really are. Hehe.

Just be.

What would you pray for if you knew that in just a few short moments you would be captured, tortured and eventually killed? My desperate prayer would probably sound something like this.... "HELP ME! SPARE ME!" Yup... I would most likely just pray for my life. Typical human thing to do, I guess.

Tonight I was reading the prayer of someone who was in this very same circumstance... only His prayer sounded vastly different than mine would have. Here is just a part of Jesus' prayer moments before He was about to be arrested:

"My prayer is not for the world, but for those you have given me, because they belong to you. And all of them, since they are mine, belong to you; and you have given them back to me, so they are my glory! Now I am departing the world; I am leaving them behind and coming to you. Holy Father, keep them and care for them- all those you have given me- so that they will be united just as we are." - John 17:9-11

I'm humbled, amazed and overjoyed by His prayer. He isn't praying that God would spare Him. Not praying that God would save Him from the impending suffering ahead. Nope. Instead, He's praying for His beloved friends. Asking the Father to "keep them and care for them." Wow. Yet another incredible example of Jesus' relentless love for us. Even in the moments before His life was about to painfully end, He was praying for us. Can you imagine a love like this? Jesus is asking that the Father keep His followers safe... and even more He is praying that they will be united as the Son is united with the Father.

So now I'm left trying to imagine a unity among Christians that resembles the unity displayed in the Trinity and it's making my head hurt! You know what Jesus says over and over again during His ministry on earth? Love. It's love that unifies us. An unbreakable, unrelenting, unmovable love for God that will feed our love for one another.

So here's the application: do I (we) love one another so much that there is even a slight chance that in life-threatening moment I (we) would think to pray for others? How about during our very-much-still-alive moments? Are we unified in this way?

Jesus is a radical... for all the right reasons. I love that about Him. So overwhelmingly perfect, trustworthy, and more than enough. I'm praising God tonight that He's much more concerned with my "being" than my "doing." He just wants me to be unified with the Father in love. He's not preoccupied with the "stuff" of ministry like I can be sometimes.

Jesus could have been like, "Okay... you guys, make sure to unplug the iron, feed the cat, and take out the garbage." (I'm not a heretic, just trying to make a point so go with me on this one...). Stuff could have very easily been more important than the people at a time like that. But nope. Not with Jesus... because He loves us for more than just what we can do. He wants us to be like Him, not just do stuff like He did. In fact, He promised that we would do far greater things than He did (for realsies)!

So tonight I'm reminded to just be. Be love, be unified with God, be at peace in Him. He thinks that much of us.