temper-tantrum much?

Centered. 

Grounded.

Content.

Assured. 

vs.

Scattered.

Flippant.

Discontent.

Restless.

I'll admit I don't reflect the person described in the first list as much as I would like. At times it feels like I'm a perfect description of the second list and desperately trying to get away from that person... about as successfully as I can run away from my shadow! As I grow to know Jesus more deeply and see His great beauty and perfection I can't help but recognize what a mess I am without Him. And that, my friends, is a joyous relief. 

When life throws curve balls it's my human tendency to want to pound the ground, pitch a fit, and scream like a toddler. But as an adult, those behaviors aren't exactly "socially acceptable" for someone my age. (But boy, wouldn't it be nice if sometimes we could get away with a freebie "temper-tantrum-toddler" day? I mean seriously, if there is a "Talk Like a Pirate" day, why can't we have "Whine Like a Baby" day?)

When unexpected things happen or something doesn't pan out the way I had hoped, I do what any other self-respecting mature adult would do: I get grumpy. I tell God "that's not fair" or worse, I try to re-imagine my life if I had my way in everything. Ever let bitterness take root in your heart? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Suddenly you start looking a lot more like the second set of words up there. Yep. 

Jesus has been speaking volumes to me on this. Sometimes I laugh and ask Him when I'm going to finally get it and start living freely in His grace and love. Everyday we get a choice as Christians- will Jesus have His way in my life? Will I place Him before all else ('bae" for all you teens out there.) Or... or will I be scattered in my priorities, flippant to a person whom I called to love, let discontentment steal my joy, or grow restlessness in my heart? Try these words from Paul on for size... 

"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:11-13 NLT)

Bam. Is Jesus alive and well in my heart? If yes, then I'm at home. Home is where you can rest, put your feet up and be free to be you. With Jesus I am at home. Circumstances don't have a grip on me anymore. Suddenly circumstances lose their power to control my mood, my attitude, or my outlook. Simply put... Jesus loves me and that's all I need. I don't need to get my way to be happy. Nope. I need Jesus to have His way. Heck, I don't even have to be successful in life to find happiness. All I need is for Jesus to be at home in my heart.

Have your way in my heart, Jesus. Clear the discontentment away with a wave of your peace and love. Let me rest in being sold-out to your direction that spans the length of eternity.