Identity.
This word has been tossing and turning in my heart as I awake into Monday morning. I'm determined to get to the bottom of what Jesus is teaching me in this season of life, but as I've quickly discovered... it must be in His timing.
Rushing into an identity isn't a true identity after all. Chances are it will change a few hundred times if not placed firmly in the rock that is Christ. (Pardon me while I do some self-talk... Hear this, dear heart: let God define you. Let Jesus bring you through the valley. Don't run ahead, don't look back. Just be. Don't identify with fear. Don't identify with worry. Don't identify with anxiety. Don't identify with anything other than the sweet deep-rooted knowledge of God's love for you. Are you hearing me, heart?)
I can't "fake it until I make it" when it comes to letting Christ mold and shape the ever so delicate heart within me that is desperate to know the ending to this story. If I derive my identity from this temporary carnal world, I will miss out on the tremendous gift that only serving Christ offers. Money, pleasure, popularity, beauty, respect, adventure... even as appealing as these things are- they fall incredibly short of the reward of knowing my God deeply and intimately.
The pastor at my church delivered a knock-out sermon yesterday morning. It was so moving and powerful that it was all I could do to hold back tears of joy because I knew it was a divine appointment that I heard this message. Ever had one of those moments?
She reminded that at times we calculate our present situations without Jesus in mind. She said two nuggets of wisdom that caused me to hit the pause button on my fretting (which I've done a LOT of these days):
"Can we give thanks to Jesus while our miracle in in transit?"
Yes. Yes, I can. I will wait on the Lord every day, every minute, every second. Wait on the Lord.
"Our memories are so short term for the provisions of Jesus."
Yep. I've failed to remember and recognize when Jesus blew the roof of my wildest dreams and gave me more than I deserved... salvation, to start with.
Just like the story of the miracle of fishes and loaves in John 6:1-13, Jesus will fill us to overflowing if we let Him. Remember, heart, to return to the source.
Draw your identity from Jesus alone. Don't try to fake it until you make it.